Twas the night before a party, when all through the town, no pigs were stirring, no cops were around.

Anybody who knows me knows I have an affection for bad films, from Ed Wood (particulary Glen or Glenda) to Herschell Gordon Lewis, and of course Bruceploitation to the classic Showgirls to the more recent D.O.A.: Dead or Alive, so it does saddened me when I come across a bad movie with not a single ounce of charm and with nothing to recommend.

That film is The Smokers (2000), written and directed by Kat Slater and tells the story of three teenage girls (played by Dominique Swain, Busy Philipps and Keri Lynn Pratt) who decide with the help of a trusty pistol decide to turn the table on men who treat them as sex objects to make the men feel weak.

The direction is amateurish (and I don't like to bad mouth people's direction), a terrible plot and some really terrible performances (Nicholas M. Loeb, the producer was cast as one the main leads and is probably the worst performance in the entire movie) and I hate this movie because it makes me find a film features Dominique Swain, Busy Philipps and Thora Birch (probably the best thing here) unwatchable. The film is utter crap with one of the worst rape scenes ever committed to celluloid (a better director could have give that scene a better impact.)

Do not watch this film. It's probably one of the worst films ever, there is no charm here that can be present in some "bad" films. Whilst on IMDB I looked up what else Kat Slater as directed, here's some of the choice titles:

• Cum Swappers 3
• Campus Confessions 10
• Young Sluts, Inc. 11
• Girl Play

So this is probably her finest work.

*Ralph Malph is the lowest rating any film can get (lower then 1 Fonz) reserved for films of this suckatude, I think Ralph Malph's great BTW, he's just not as cool as the Fonz.

Stuff I've been Watching Lately

Really not been watching too many film lately, recently watched HARD CANDY starring Ellen Page and Patrick Wilson which stars the younger looking then she is Ellen Page as 14 year old girl meeting a 32 year old photographer played by Patrick Wilson on the internet. She prepares a Screwdriver drink for him at his house and he passes out and accuses him of pedophilia which Wilson denies and she begins to torture him, the film is not too bad, the message is a but muddled in there somewhere but the performances are top notch, also it's never too gory like what the splat pack offer.

Television as been more in my DVD player then anything lately. Dawson's Creek Season Five (must be watching the show in reverse season) was the first season of the show's college years and features a death early in the seasons of one of the main characters of the show. This was also the season that introduced the wonderful Busy Philipps to the series, worth a watch even if like me your not big on the Dawson character Extras Series Two, comfirms performance wise that Ricky Gervais is nothing but a one trick pony, while it's a often very funny series it falls behind The Office and even shows like Curb Your Enthusiasm and The Larry Sanders Show as the celebrity cameos are sometimes a little too self aware.

Had something of a Monty Python binge earlier this week aswell. And Now For Something Completely Different is just sketches from the show just refilmed but it's funny if not quite of the same enegry of the original series. Life of Brian is probably the masterpiece movie of the Python crew which is literally a laugh a minute (or second). Seen it loads of times of course and still makes me laugh. Python related is A Fish Called Wanda which is very funny thanks to the wonderful ensemble. I think Kevin Kline just steals the movie.

That it's for now- got Rocky Balboa to watch, might comment on it soon.

Dawson's Creek Season Six

Review:DAWSON'S CREEK SEASON SIX Reviewer Bias Loves: Busy Philipps. Likes: Pacey, Joey, Jack, Jen and Grams. Dislikes: "The College Years" of shows, Impossibly good looking love interests. Hates: Dawson Leery, Pointless Celebrity Cameos.

Okay I'm considering this my first attempt at a proper review in a long time, so bear with me.

I was a fan of Dawson's Creek in it's early years. I think it arrived in the U.K in 1999 (I think it premiered in the US the previous year), even though I wasn't a big fan of the Dawson Leery (James Van Der Beek) character I could identify with his dream of becoming a filmmaker and also the idea of unrequieted love. Obviously the better characters of the first season where Dawson's best friend Pacey (Joshua Jackson), soul mate Joey (Katie Holmes) and new girl on the creek, New Yorker Jen (Michelle Williams), the second season introduced two cracking new characters Andie (Meredith Monroe) and her brother Jack (Kerr Smith), Andie would have mental health issues within that season and Jack would come out. Also welcome in the second season was Abby Morgan (Monica Keena) who was a total bitch and all the more loveable for it, she ended up drowning in the pier by the season's end though after a night's drinking with Jen. Meredith Monroe would end up leaving in the fourth season, and Dawson's dad (John Wesley Shipp), a character I didn't like died in a car crash in the fifth season. The series creator Kevin Williamson (who also wrote Scream) left the end of the second season and this information comes into play later.

I'd not seen any of the college year episodes (the fifth and six seasons) meaning I'd missed the introduction of Audrey (Busy Philipps), who I believed was originally introduced as Joey's college roommate so what I'm about to write is without the knowledge of an whole season.

This season feels like Joey's Creek- Dawson at times feels like a supporting character and doesn't even appear in a number of episodes this season, I believe Joey is present in everyone- which is better overall cause the other characters are a lot better and actually more likeable. Speaking of Dawson, Hal Ozsan is wonderful Todd Carr, the director Dawson is assistant to for most the season. Meagan Gray as Emma Jones is also another welcome character -both are British characters but neither actor are from Britain-.

What's bad about the season is things like an all episode around them seeing No Doubt, means we have to see No Doubt perform a few songs, thankfully the band don't act in the film. Jack Osbourne playing himself and a childhood neighbour of Audrey is funny but very distracting from the rest of the show.

What's good about the season is Busy Philipps performance as Audrey while the rest of the cast (sans Dawson) are still brilliant in their roles. Good moments include Audrey's pre-rehab crash into the Leery homestead, SPOILER the fact that Dawson seemingly becomes Joey's only one night stand END SPOILER, Pacey in his new job (not so much for his beard though), Paul Gleason's cameos, Busy Philipps' Freaks and Geeks alumni Seth Rogen's appearance (one of the best episodes of the season), another great episode which sees Joey and Pacey get locked in K-Mart and the penilitumate episode which features the gang coming together to make a film based on the early Dawson's Creek years and a strong last episode.

Speaking of the last episode. Series creator Kevin Williamson returned to the series to give conclusion to the characters he created. Sadly he didn't create Audrey she is mentioned but doesn't appear which is not good since she's such a likeable character. The show is set 5 years after the previous episode and the gang have moved on i.e. Dawson is Ext Producer on a show called the Creek, based on his teenage years, Joey is editor. SPOILER The series does end on a tragic note, when it's revealed Jen as a heart condition and dies END SPOILER but the last episode gives conclusion to the lives of the gang it would be welcome if they did one-offs every few years to catch up with the characters.

Overall, a pretty darn good season. The characters are strong even if not all the episodes are not. If like me you enjoyed the early years but phased out, it is really recommend to go back to the show, you will not be disappointed.

()()()()

Bask in the loveliness of...

Busy Philipps

Undeclared: Complete Series

Okay, I'm not gonna aplogize- this is going to be a five star review, like Freaks and Geeks, I believe everything Judd Apatow touches turns to gold and this the natural successor: (which lasted even less episodes then F&G) high school to college, was in the half hour sit-com format (F&G was an hour).

This like F&G, this as such a perfect cast, Seth Rogen, the only Geek regular to become a regular on this- you've got the perfect females Carla Gallo and the ever wonderful Monica Keena (Busy Phillips guest stars along with few F&G alumni), perfect males Timm Sharp, Rogen, Brit Charlie Hunnam and lead Jay Baruchel are also so likeable and Loudon Wainwright as the dad is the best TV dad since Flaherty's Mr. Weir in F&G and Hal in Malcolm in the Middle, the laughs are not punchlined like most american sit-coms (takes the increasingly popular way of no laugh track) and the episode where all the characters spend the entire episode drunk is an automatic stand-out, like F&G there are many wonderful recurring actors and guest stars, it just makes me sad there where only 17 episodes, whilst there is some sit-coms that lasted over 200.

In conclusion, Undeclared is not only the perfect companion piece to Freaks and Geeks, it was one of the best shows of the 2001-02 season and anybody in their mid-20s will guarteneed to love this show.

*****

Freaks and Geeks: The Complete Series

I'm not sure if I was a freak or a geek at school- I think if you had to catgorize me, I guess I'd be closer to a freak (nowadays I guess I'm closer to a geek), this show set in a Michigan high school in 1980 his 18 (only 18!!!) episodes of perfection, well wrote, directed and cast (the young cast could actually pass for students- was Beverly Hills 90210 like that!)-

Linda Cardellini (now ER) is plays the lead role of Lindsay- ex geek, wannabe freek, a wonderful anchor to the show- but list the rest of the cast: Martin Starr, Samm Levine, James Franco (Harry Osborne in the Spider-Man movies), John Francis Daley and Becky Anne Baker as well as frequent actors Natasha Melnick, Joanne Garcia, David Gruber, Steve Bannos, Sarah Hagan and Tom Wilson- are all remarkable, arguably there as never been a television cast so suited to their roles. I missed three names off then- because I believe there the performers that deserve extra recogniation: Joe Flaherty as Mr. Weir, so wonderful in anything he does (I have called this man god on more then one occasion) , Jason Segel- it's hard to explain just how good he is as Nick and possibly my favourite cast member: Busy Phillips as Kim Kelly, unbelievablely excellent in the bitchy, sometimes uncaring (often times caring) role that is so fully rounded.

The quality of writing is excellent including scripts from creator Paul Feig, Judd Apatow and Mike White. And such an excellent choice of music, The Grateful Dead's Ripple as been on in my house constantly. Stand outs episodes include the final episode, Kim Kelly is My Friend, Beers and Weirs and let's just say all the others.

The commentaries on this set are amazing (29 for 18 episodes) including cast members who went onto ER and Dawson's Creek (two big shows) shows how much love there is from the people who worked on this show (R1 only).

*****