Thursday, November 22, 2007

Twas the night before a party, when all through the town, no pigs were stirring, no cops were around.

Anybody who knows me knows I have an affection for bad films, from Ed Wood (particulary Glen or Glenda) to Herschell Gordon Lewis, and of course Bruceploitation to the classic Showgirls to the more recent D.O.A.: Dead or Alive, so it does saddened me when I come across a bad movie with not a single ounce of charm and with nothing to recommend.

That film is The Smokers (2000), written and directed by Kat Slater and tells the story of three teenage girls (played by Dominique Swain, Busy Philipps and Keri Lynn Pratt) who decide with the help of a trusty pistol decide to turn the table on men who treat them as sex objects to make the men feel weak.

The direction is amateurish (and I don't like to bad mouth people's direction), a terrible plot and some really terrible performances (Nicholas M. Loeb, the producer was cast as one the main leads and is probably the worst performance in the entire movie) and I hate this movie because it makes me find a film features Dominique Swain, Busy Philipps and Thora Birch (probably the best thing here) unwatchable. The film is utter crap with one of the worst rape scenes ever committed to celluloid (a better director could have give that scene a better impact.)

Do not watch this film. It's probably one of the worst films ever, there is no charm here that can be present in some "bad" films. Whilst on IMDB I looked up what else Kat Slater as directed, here's some of the choice titles:

  • Cum Swappers 3
  • Campus Confessions 10
  • Young Sluts, Inc. 11
  • Girl Play

So this is probably her finest work.

*Ralph Malph is the lowest rating any film can get (lower then 1 Fonz) reserved for films of this suckatude, I think Ralph Malph's great BTW, he's just not as cool as the Fonz.

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