Entertainment News

• George Clooney and Renée Zellweger are rumoured to be dating again, the pair dated briefly in 2001 and where seen recently cuddling and holding hands in a restaurant
• Naomi Campbell as been threatened with arrest after she failed to appearer at an hearing at a Manhattan Court, very naughty girl.
• First Chyna and Sean Waltman have a scary sex tape, now it's the turn of Screech himself Dustin Diamond, Diamond's manager actually hope the release of the tape to the public will help raise his profile, aren't you just a little bit curious?
• and that's it Dustin Diamond can't be topped.

Entertainment News

• Mel Gibson comes out of hiding to make his first public appearance to promoto "Apocalypto" since his drink driving arrest back in July.
• Shockingly, since you'd expect it to be drug related, Keith Richards was massively drunk on the set of the third Pirates of the Caribbean and had to be proped up when his scenes where getting filmed.
• David Beckham has found solace in Tom Cruise, I made it sound gayer then it actually is, it was more to do with Beckham been dropped from the England squad.
• Lindsay Lohan is angry at reports she's split up with her fiancee Harry Morton, the Hard Rock Cafe heir, apparently there still together.
• Cindy Crawford is in trouble with certain people after she allowed her 5 year old daughter to model swimwear.
• Bruce Willis tells the world he is a democrat.
• Some sad news, the church in which James Brown did his bit in Blues Brothers as burned down.

Hostel

Eli Roth, director of Cabin Fever can talk the talk, but can he walk the walk, let's start with Cabin Fever, what's the best way to describe it? Average, yet people where excited to see it, but are many people actually a fan of the movie? Hostel, is Eli Roth's second movie and his mouth flapped more and more and how much of a mind fuck the movie would be, but the film with the tag Quentin Tarantino presents where Eli Roth finally learns to walk the walk.

The answer, I've got to say is NO. The film for the first part seems like the movie Eurotrip- obnixious Yanks abroad in Europe- trying to be funny and never been funny, the film takes the From Dusk Till Dawn approach by going all out the window the second half, the boys are told of an Hostel, that's full of women who are pretty much up for it.

Let's talk about the torture scenes, you must have heard about them, or seen the tantilizing glimpses on any number of the trailers- Yes, they are squemish (as is a bit at the end of the movie), but they come too little too late, the interest as already severely wained in the movie. Japanese directing maestro Takeshi Miike as a small role, it's recommend you check out some of his movies instead (if you already haven't).

The film is not that good, moments of gore and attempted humour never sit well together, the film is probably a lesser movie then Cabin Fever. Watch National Lampoon's European Vacation and The Texas Chain Saw Massacre straight after each other instead.

**

Entertainment News

• Marcia Cross, the redheaded one from Desperate Housewives is expecting twins, when I read the headline "Cross Expecting Twins", I instantly thought of Arrested Development slaphead David Cross, now if that was the case that would have been newsworthy.
• Robin Williams, as left rehab and as moved in with a sober friend to save his marriage, do you think he remembers he made Jacob the Liar?
• 80s "heartthrob" Lou Diamond Phillips as been charged in with domestic battery in Los Angeles, nothing funny there, if he as hit his wife he deserves what he gets.
• Jet Li is still ademant he's giving up martial arts movies, hating the fact the theme is always revenge, look for Li in the remake of 12 Angry Men.
• In the best news- Showgirls is to be transformed into a Las Vegas musical, please get Jessie Spano to be in it please, please, I'll fly over to Las Vegas to see it.
• George Lucas as donated $175 million to the USC, the place that provided him with his filmmaking education in a generous gift, just a shame half of his directorial filmography is the Star Wars prequels.
• Saturday Night Live as cut it's cast from 16 down to 11 (with no new cast additions) among those going are Chris Parnell and Horatio Sanz---now who's going to giggle during every sketch there in distracting the other performers. The fat one from Kenan and Kel is safe BTW.

Shock Treatment

Wow, you have to be impressed at how regulary I update this blog. Months on end it seems I fail to do any update whatsoever, then I come on after a bit and promise big changes then... NOTHING, a big fat nothing- promises of changes, maybe a couple of updates here and there, So for now- No promises, If I update it, I update it.

Planned watching:

• Good Night, And Good Luck.
• Demolition Man
• Uncle Buck
• Shock Treatment
• Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead

What I've been watching

First off, Monday so the arrival of the special edition of V for Vendetta, which is a fantastic (though it seems negatively recieved by Alan Moore purirists) and was reviewed by me back when I saw it at the cinema, American Dreamz, could of been a biting satire of the American President and American Idol but doesn't have any teeth, Mandy Moore looks hot in it though. A film I'd not seen since Childhood without realizing Spaceballs is noticebly not one thing: that funny, a couple of good jokes aside, a lot of it just falls flat, The Ice Storm, one of my favourite films from 1997 (in a year that included L.A Confidential and The Big Lebowski) with a particulary memorable turn from Christina Ricci, it should be noted it's wonderfully acted by all and is Ang Lee's best film to date.

Just finished watching R.S.V.P. (2002), a horror with some neat little ideas- notable as it was the last role for Glenn Quinn, and also featuring Jason Mewes, you have to believe that there was a couple of drugs flying around the set (Quinn died of a heroin overdose) - the movie is ultimately okay, but feels a tad been there done that, The 'Burbs (1987) is incredibly underrated and is a film that before recently watching it hadn't seen for a fair few years. Bruce Dern as the military-nut neighbour is a standout. I think that's all I've watched the last couple of days.

I watched four films on one night, Our House (aka Duplex), Death to Smoochy, Wonderland and 12 Angry Men, all but 12 Angry Men I'd never seen before and all but 12 Angry Men could be described anything but lukewarm. Our House and Death to Smoochy are both black comedies directed by Danny DeVito. In Our House, DeVito basically retraces Throw Momma from the Train with the usual likeable leads of Ben Stiller and Drew Barrymore, who are honestly not bad, the problem with the film is, it never picks up momentum, Death to Smoochy is better -just- thanks to the lead roles and one genuinely heartbreaking moment, it was made during Robin Williams, dark career period and is certainly a weaker movie then Insomnia, watchable but not completely great. Wonderland, starring Val Kilmer, tells the true story of ex-porn star John Holmes (his story was kind of the inspiration for Dirk Diggler in Boogie Nights) and tells the story of a murder of a bunch of drug dealers and their unlucky houseguests from various points of view a lá Rashomon, it never really reveals the surface of the subject or the event in question and leaves you wanting more, there is one scene at the beginning with Kate Bosworth that is so unbelievably sexy. However, 12 Angry Men is a true cinematic masterpiece, excellently performed by the 12 actors, the film draws you in, wanting to know more, a true testement to less been more, this movie is impossible to fault.

Jack Warden

1920-2006

So I'd got an amazingly good value MGM box-set consisting of ten films for £10, earlier in the week, and the first one I watched out of the box was 12 Angry Men (1957) and was going to talk about what a marvellous film was, but a couple of days ago, one of the actors, Jack Warden died aged 85. Warden had a long, long career and it was sad to hear of his passing- I can also remember the Problem Child movies as a kid (also starring the now sadly deceased John Ritter) and in my teens the underrated Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead, films all done in the twilight of his career--- 12 Angry Men is a wonderful film- it should be rightly described as a classic and I'll talk about it more on a later date.

Got MILF?

Yes I am an idiot.

It was an episode of Malcolm in the Middle repeated the other day, can't go wrong with two older women like these.

Let's talk about The Constant Gardener (2005) a bit, the recent batch of "serious" movies have bored me a bit, you know the Oscar baiting (sometimes borderline television movie) though sometimes usually well made and occasionly engaging- just left me with a couple of hours of feeling nothingless. I'm glad the partly British made (or British in spirit) Constant Gardener, changed that. Watched about the same time as Lord of War both make an interesting double bill- Gardener deals with profiting from pharmacetucials, War profiting from arms dealing. Rachel Weisz as never been better (granted pretty much everything else I've seen her in would hardly class as changelling roles) but the bitter poignanticy of knowing her character is killed before the opening credits making Ralph Fiennes plight for truth and justice that all much better. There is one scene towards the end of the movie in the third act, that is just so heartbreaking- words can't truly describe the scene which will stay with me for a long time. Recommended action: watch it.

Entertainment News

• James Gandolfini as gone in for knee surgery therefore delaying the start of the new Sopranos season. Like we wasn't going to wait two years for it anyway.
• Hugh Laurie as been given a huge pay rise for his role in the show "House" upto $300,000 from an original reported mid five figure salary. Rule Britannia.
• Diane Lane chopped off her hair on live television for charity, bless her.

And that's it.

slow news day.

Red Buttons dies aged 87

I was sad to hear of the death of Red Buttons, who died Thursday aged 87.

Many consider his greatest role "Saynora" in which he won the best supporting actor Oscar for in 1957.

However, it's in his roles for "The Longest Day" (a movie in which he stole the show) and "The Poseidon Adventure", as well as his guest spot on "ER" I will probably best remember him for.

A hugely talented performer, Red, you will be missed.

The Return of Captain Invincible

Hello, I'm back finally- I've decidedI've got to take the site in a different way, because of what seems like my extreme ADD, this blog is not particulary holding my interest any more. you'll see the changes coming soon.

Been a while since I've updated here. One reason- big family crisis. I'm going to start trying to update more frequently ASAP.

Robot Chicken Season One

Thoughts Before: Well, I'd seen first sketches through various internet sites and the idea intrigued me, Adam and Joe Show in Britain did a simlair thing using toys from our childhood to act out the scenes and it's a thing that will always appeal to me. And I seem to already have a lot of stuff with Seth Green in it.

Review: The show is very, very funny- the animated sketches never outstay their welcome (the show is only about 11 minutes long) and features an all host of celebrity voices (Macaulay Culkin, Scarlett Johansson, casts of That 70s Show and Scooby Doo), how can you not like it when Superman steals Catwoman's Hello Kitty underwear, or a Cannonball Run sketch (Dom DeLuise and Burt Reynolds are in it!!!), or a Smurfs sketch based on Seven, or many, many more funny sketches.

A good thing about the show he doesn't feel it needs to explain to the geeks out there- A Sleepaway Camp reference!- and occasionly just goes for insane humour in places.

Stand Out Moment: So many sketches to pick from, erm...George Bush in his office in the Armageddon sketch, (zoom zoom zoom!), it annoys my nephew when I do an impression of that.

Conclusion: Recommended to fans of animation, and it's another moden classic from the Adult Swim Channel- 20 episodes are on this set, so there is enough to enjoy and laugh at. (R1 only)

****

Mario Bava Double Bill

A Bay of Blood

(aka Twitch of the Death Nerve)

Thoughts Before: Mario Bava as got quite a reputation in the Giallo fans circles and this movie, by whichever title it's goes is usually one of the first mentioned. I was expecting blood and insane deaths.

Review: And you blood and insane death by the plenty, clearly ripped off to pieces by the Friday the 13th franchise- this movie is insanely difficult to keep track of whose a murderer and whose a victim. It's the sort of film you'd watch not for the story (everybody as their eyes on becoming owners of the bay)- This is typical Giallo (that is a good thing) with great moments (I flinched a couple of times), gratiatous nudity and good characters (It would have been great if the husband and wife team of the fortune teller and bug-scientist got their own spin-off movie- if they didn't die horrible in the movie) and a really, really cool ending. Mario Bava's visual flair is apparent and keeps you hooked from the first moment.

Stand Out Moment: As to be the ending, so cool and unexpected, a moment that lingers on the mind forever.

Conclusion: Rightly, should be regarded as the godfather of all the 70s/80s slashers movies since it was raped and pilaged so much. Excellently directed with memorable characters, recommended.

***** Hatchet for the Honeymoon

Thoughts Before: Bay of Blood came through the post on the Wednesday, watched it that today, loved it, knew my local used DVD shop had this in and went and brought it on the Friday. I was pretty unfamiliar with this film compared to some of Mario Bava's other movies.

Review: This just might be better then A Bay of Blood, this is even more visually stunning then that movie, like most of Bava's imput the story is 2nd place, it's everything else, the insane characters, moments (as a filmmaker I might rip off this film royally)- the plot as a man marrying brides on their wedding days to find out who killed his mother, like a lot of Italian Horror it doesn't matter just soak yourself in and your in for a treat.

Stand Out Moment: The insane wedding dress dance knife attack sequence

Conclusion: Excellent, excellent movie, it's hard to know whether to class it as a Giallo, because there is actually so little blood compared to it's counterparts, this film as many excellent moments, recommend. And the UK release DVD I brought, features an hour long Bava documentary that is also very good.

*****

Aliens Among Us (aka Alien Avengers II) Thought's Before: Sometimes you just expect a movie to be bad, that can be a good film, I only brought it cause it stars the lovely Julie Brown. The fact it's only been released in some European countries on DVD. Might be a giveaway sign. Review: Like I said, I only brought this because of Julie Brown and imported it from Holland (I never would have given it a second look otherwise)- who her and Cheer's Norm- George Wendt are both incredibly likeable and funny in the leads. The movie is a harmless if unmemorable way to spend 90 minutes (a couple of times during the duration I held a smile) , the film tries to mix genres (sci-fi, horror, comedy, western), never really settingly on any. The film is credited Roger Corman presents, so you should know what you are getting with that. Stand Out Moment: Justice, new sherrif style, it'll make you never want to speed. Conclusion: Energertic peformances and some funny moments. I'm a fan of Julie Brown, so I'm gonna be on the side of liking this, thank you very much. **

Upcoming reviews include two Mario Bava Giallo classics, another Allan Arkush movie Heartbeeps, Meet the Fockers, the 2005 remake of the Longest Yard, Ed Wood's masterpiece Glen or Glenda, teen comedy How I Got into College, I Love You to Death, a Curb Your Enthuisasm special, a Julie Brown movie that doesn't seemed to be released in any English speaking countries, Shane Black's directorial debut Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Robot Chicken Season One, The Doom Generation, Revenge of the Nerds I&II and NewsRadio Season Three.

Christ, that is a lot on my to do list...